


What's In A Name?

by agt



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman: The Killing Joke (Comics)
Genre: Angst, Batjokes, Bittersweet Ending, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Identity Issues, Identity Reveal, Joker identity reveal, M/M, Past Lives, Relationship Issues, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-01-21
Updated: 2018-01-21
Packaged: 2019-03-06 03:26:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13402461
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/agt/pseuds/agt
Summary: Maybe it was simply Bruce's own inclination, after all he longed to see J happy and content, with a healthy mind, living a life that would benefit, not harm others. For whatever reason, he felt that the key to J's recovery would be his past.





	What's In A Name?

**Author's Note:**

> Over the last year, I have had the pleasure of meeting a fellow batjokes fan who inspires greatness.  
> [melody1987](http://archiveofourown.org/users/melody1987) on AO3 [Mellie](https://twitter.com/MellieArt1987) on twitter [mellie art](https://mellie-art.tumblr.com/) on tumblr and I have had many wonderful conversation that leave the creative juices flowing. (check out her art work!) This story is, hopefully, an enjoyable ramification of one of those exchanges. Enjoy. -agt

**Prologue**

 

 

It had been going on far too long, Bruce knew that. A growing obsession disguised as a duty; a duty to protect Gotham and keep the nameless citizens from harm's way. Out of the countless threats that seemed to never end, one threat that stood out above all others was The Joker.

It was never easy when it came to Joker. Even before their relationship took a romantic detour, it was always complicated.

Maybe it was simply Bruce's own inclination, after all he longed to see J happy and content, with a healthy mind, living a life that would benefit, not harm others. For whatever reason, he felt that the key to J's recovery would be his past. So with that in mind, Bruce began searching, hurting for his true identity; something he essentially hoped would ultimately steer Joker, and himself, away from destructive course they found themselves on.

When Bruce began this endeavor, his optimism flourished.

One would have thought that in this day and age tracking down the identity, the true identity, of a madman would have been a whole lot easier than it was turning out to be. Perhaps, the initial success of knowing where to start had given Bruce false expectations. The footage from ACE chemical showed J arriving the night of his accident. But naturally, wasn't as easy as Bruce had hoped. The footage showed J but he was dressed as the Red Hood. Luckily, he wasn't alone in the footage.

The two men accompanying J that night, Bruce just happened to know quite well before they were killed by the plant's guards. Having hauled them in before, he knew their romping ground. A rundown, lowbrow bar on the edge of The Bowery. So it stood to reason, J would have been a frequenter of the same bar.

Thus starting Bruce's long grueling task of collecting old footage from the city's traffic and pedestrian safety surveillance cameras, old security footage from local businesses and apartments, and even hacking into whatever system he needed to retain the footage needed.

The plan was, he would locate and identify J before the accident. Bruce was positive that he would recognize the man J use to be and from there, he would track his every step. Hopefully, following his movement from the bar, back to his neighborhood, then to his home; essentially tracking down his identity and life before the accident.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

**2 Years Later**

 

 

 

It wasn't by accident that Bruce showed up to this particular lowbrow bar. And it sure wasn't coincidence that The Joker just happened to be there that night.

Bruce had waited for months for Joker to make his presence known, rearing that gorgeous grin from the depths of Gotham's underbelly for a rendezvous with the Bat. Finally, he got the lead he'd been searching for; rumor had it, that The Joker had resurfaced in The Bowery, one of Gotham's worst neighborhoods, and was looking for new henchmen.

So there he was, dressed as one of them; a common criminal, looking for a high paying job to pull.

He couldn't show up as himself, either one of them. Batman showing up here would cause too much chaos. He'd never get to speak with J without him throwing up his fist, ready to duke it out. And showing up as Bruce Wayne was out of the question; plain and simple.

But Matches Malone, well, Matches could waltz right into a place like this and not have one person think twice about it. Plus, he assumed J would recognize him the moment he laid those intense green eyes on him. After all, J and Matches had "met" prior, under similar circumstances. So, as long as J recognized him, he knew that J would be clever enough to realize him being Matches meant he came in peace and wanted to talk.

Bruce...Matches sat down, just pass the bend of bar and ordered a drink. From this vantage point he could see J in all his glory, wearing a lavish plum colored suit, darker than his normal attire. It was trimmed off with a pale lavender dress shirt and a tie that matched the same bright electric green shade of his eyes.

It was clear that J had not wasted time in assembling a new crew; all very good looking, well-built men. And there sat J; perched like a king, right in the middle of them.

Bruce immediately found himself disapproving of how unbearably content J appeared with his surroundings. He watched, narrowing his eyes with objection every time J would toss his head back with a laugh, acting amused at whatever pointless nonsense one of his henchmen had to say.

He couldn't help but think about why he was there. After two years of extensively tracking down all the required footage and talking to all the right people, Bruce had finally been able to piece together J's past. He'd known J's true identity for nearly four months but due to...well, due to Bruce doing and saying something incredible dumb, J had broken off all contact with him. Hence, Bruce having to play dress-up just in order to get close to J.

In a way, he was delighted to see him; having actually smiled at seeing him across the bar the first time. While at the same time he found himself slightly jealous of J's apparent thriving social life.

Bruce couldn't help but critique J's every movement.

J slowly stretched his arm out, fingers twitching, beckoning a particularly handsome young man from across the bar to come and join him at his table. His long elegant fingers, gloved in pale purple silk, remained extended until the young man was close enough to the table that J gestured for him to take a seat beside him.

J flourished when it came flirting.

With a charming smile, a few choice words, a flip of that lush green, wavy hair piled wildly on top of his head and a well-timed wink, the young man was putty in his hand.

Bruce's eye narrowed again.

J's arm seemed inappropriately long as he slowly snaked it over the young man's shoulder, around his neck and finally, draping it over his other shoulder.

Bruce held his breath as he watched J lean in, those red trimmed lips slowly whispering into the young man's ear. Suddenly, a devilish grin graced J's face, but only momentarily before he reached up and started to twirl a piece of the man's hair between his gloved fingers. Soon after, he continued to murmur something leisurely to him.

Bruce felt a tug of jealousy witnessing this display of affection coming from J.

Did J know he was watching? Would it have mattered? Probably not.

He was under no illusion about J's flirtatious methods of manipulation; he had been on the receiving end over the years, many times. Not that he minded being there, on the receiving end, that is. But things were different now. Their relationship was no longer as straightforward as it used to be; granted, it had never been simple, not really.

Suddenly, Bruce attention was roped in.

The handsome young fellow J had been so generously bestowing his affection upon was now in a most troubling situation. Forced up onto his feet, the man's arms were floundering, trying to loosen the choke hold J had around his throat.

" _J, no. Let go_." Bruce desperately pleaded in silence.

"Haahahaha-heh-heee."

J's laugher echoed throughout the bar; bring with it an awkward silence stillness. All eyes fell on J and his victim.

The man's muted gasps could be heard as he struggled for air.

" _Let go_." 

No longer attempting to free himself as diligently as before, the man was going limp; the lack of oxygen taking its toll.

_"Please. J. Let. Go."_

Bruce was already standing and taking a step toward J, ready to intervene if necessary.

With an audience feeding his performance, J spun around with the man, treating him like a ragdoll. The obnoxious grin on his face was completely removed as J's eyes connected with Batss, instantly seeing pass his disguise.

For a brief moment, he appeared almost surprised. 

Then all at once his face filled with a smirk that ultimately transformed into a huge grin.

J, who was momentarily distracted, had unintentionally loosened his grip on the man, allowing him to receive a sudden rush of air. He coughed loudly causing J to recoil out of disgust.

Bruce exhaled out of relief.

The man stumbled as he tried to catch his breath. Reaching out, J grabbed him by his upper arm, ensuring he remained close. Once he had hold of his mark, J immediately cut his eyes back toward Batss.

 He starred wildly at him as if he was debating whether or not to blow his cover. For a mere moment, Bruce actually considered that he just might have to fight his way out of the bar.  Then J gave him a wink before eccentrically turning back around to address the rest of the men at the table.

"My dear gentlemen. See to it..."

J forcibly helped the man he had been choking into a chair. Standing behind him, he began to rub his shoulders, casually threatening him.

"...that my new friend, here, gets a drink. And make sure he doesn't wander off."

J gave him a squeeze, "There's still much to talk about between you and I. Isn't that right? Heh-heh. And I hope for your sake you can remember those account numbers."

"Now. Lads. Daddy's off to have a chat with a man about a Bat."

J spun around on both heels and immediately caught Bruce's eyes again. He gave his Bat a smug smirk and tilted his head toward the very back of the bar. His body followed as his eyes shifted in the same direction.

Bruce watched and waited.

J's long stride managed to get him across the bar in ample time, where he greeted a big burly man standing guard at a door. Placing his hand on the man's chest, J leaned in and whispered to him. Bruce saw the man's eyes glance toward him and nod. Giving the man a playfully pat on his chest, J turned one last time to look at Batss then disappeared behind the door.

By the time Bruce made it to the door his palms were sweaty. He couldn't help but think about what he was here to do and the incredibly poor terms they had parted on.

_"Batsy, dearest, you and I...We're under no obligation to each other. You made that perfectly clear last time. Or have you forgotten about last time? Perhaps, I could jog your memory with that little trick I do with my tongue that you seem to love so well."_

Those words, _no obligation to each other_ , echoed around inside Bruce's head; over and over and over again. Hell, Bruce could still see the arrogant expression on J's face as he said it.

But J had been justified in being so cross with him.

Bruce had said something stupid and inconsiderate. Something along the lines of _"you're crazy if you think this is anything more than just sex."_

He regretted saying it.

And tonight, oh tonight, he was sure he'd be making things at lot worse before making them any better.

The big guy guarding the door simply nodded at Bruce and gestured for him to go on through the door.

J was immediately waiting on the other side, leaning against the wall, resting his weight on his shoulder. The same smug smirk still plastered across the face.

Suddenly, Bruce was torn with two very equal urges; wanting to punch and kiss J at the same time.

But J beat him to the punchline, literally.

All Bruce saw was a flash of purple as he felt a hand make contact with his face, nearly knocking off the fake mustache he wore. But even then, the slap hadn't been hard enough to do any actually damage, only hard enough to get the message across that he was still displeased with him.

Casually reaching up and rubbing his jaw, "Are you done? Or would you like to slap the other side too?"

With a lift of his brow and a step forward, J was cupping Bruce's face and immediately forcing his tongue into his mouth. Gladly accommodating, Bruce feverishly kissed J back without hesitation.

" _God, I missed you."_ Bruce silently through.

The moment Bruce started to get overly worked up,  J abruptly pulled away. Giving Batss another smug smirk.

"I've always wanted to see how old Matches kissed. And if I'm being honest with myself and you, I don't care for stache, cupcake."

Neither did Bruce but it wasn't as if he could just rip it off right in front of J without compromising his identity.

The through of "identity" made Bruce's stomach flip, the reality of why he was there to do hit him again. But it had to be done; this could _the_ answer, _their_ answer.

"We need to talk." Bruce got straight to the point.

"And...what... would you call this?" J gestured back and forth between the two of them.

Bruce glanced back toward the door that housed a full bar on the other side, "Is there somewhere we won't be interrupted?"

"Somewhere...perhaps, where you can get more...comfortable?"

"I'm not here for-"

"Oh please." J interrupted. "Don't insult me. You've got a lot more apologizing to do before we get down to any of _that_ kind of business."

" _After tonight, apologizing might not be enough."_ Bruce quickly thought.

"I'm talking about the suit; I can tell you're wearing it under that..." J's eyes advanced down and back up Bruce's body, "... monstrosity of a disguise."

Bruce felt himself blush.

"Everything but the belt, cape and cowl. Which are probably already hidden somewhere around here, I would imagine."

He nodded yes, letting J led the way toward the roof of the building.

Bruce never once took his eyes off of J; the whole time rehearsing in his mind, what was about to happen.

From the moment, he had discovered J's true identity; there had been a remorseful regret that came with the knowledge. Having seen the heartbreaking tragedy that seem to follow J throughout his life time, Bruce couldn't help but want to save him from all of it. He wanted to tell him he understood, he could relate. That he didn't blame him for fleeing into "madness".

And _his_ reaction...

The Clown Prince's response...

Bruce was overly confident that J would overreact, naturally. It was his way, his style, his modus operandi and that would be the best case scenario. He had spend countless hours pondering and rehearsing what to say if J became extremely angry or completely overwhelmed, becoming a blubbering mess. There was a game plan in case he tried to flee or fight. Bruce even came prepared for J to maintain the ruse that he didn't remember his past or simply denied it all together.

Bruce, having devised his means to keep the situation contain, should have felt confident. Instead, he could feel the lump growing in his throat, the sweat moistening his palms, apprehension building. 

J pushing the door open that led out onto the roof, couldn't have been more welcomed. The relief of the cool wind hitting Bruce's face caused him to inhale deeply while tilting his face upward toward the night's sky. After taking a brief moment to calm down he focused his eyes, watching the wind whip J's hair back and forth; causing it to dance about wildly. 

J didn't seem to notice, or care, as he strutted across the roof. With a leap, he hopped up onto the ledge. Looking over the side of the building onto the street below, he whistled.

"That's a long way down. Whatcha say, Batss?"  

He leaned slightly over the building's edge as he cocked his head sideways, looking behind to Bruce.

Bruce used the moment of semi privacy to peel off the layers of clothes, revealing the batsuit. From one of the many hidden compartments in the suit, he pulled out his beloved cowl. Without removing the small nose prosthetic or mustache he slipped it on, fighting with it. Barely adequate, it covered his face and all the correct bits but not comfortably.

As if on cue, J turned around, hopping down.

He approached Batss, keeping his hands folded behind his back.

"No cape? Shocking!" His tone oozed sarcasm.

"A Bat without his cape, tsk tsk. It's almost like a clown with his smile." J gave his most dashing grin, waving his hand past his face as if he was presenting it for the first time.

Batss appeared unamused, but in reality he was simply gazing back at J, taking him all in. 

With a disappointing snarl and quick tug, J ripped Bruce's faux mustache right off. Dropping it immediately, and rubbing his fingers together like he was dusting off something repulsive.

Reaching up, he went for the cowl next; causing Bruce to pull away. He wasn't repugnant about it, merely  doing it out of a habit of caution. Still, it was enough to make J frown.

"Oh relax cupcake. If I haven't peeked after all these years..." He reached up again, slowly cupping Batss cheek tenderly, eyeballing him the entire time.

"Trust me." J caressed his thumb over Bruce's exposed cheek.

Bruce nodded once, making J smirk charmingly before beginning to adjust the ill-fitting cowl.

As it became apparent the cowl just wasn't going to fix over the faux nose, J wormed his long slender finger right under the cowl. Hooking part of the nose prosthetic, he gently ripped it away in pieces.

Bruce allowed it, letting his hands hang down at his sides. He wanted to touch J.

Did it show how much he was fighting back the urge to wrap his hands around J? To drag his hand down his body, rest his hands in the small dip of J's waist. Oh, that dip where his pelvis met his slender hips. 

" _Focus_." Bruce scolded himself.

Once J managed to properly fit the cowl into position, the two men simply gaze at each other. The taller man's bright green eyes lowered just enough to meet those baby blues that he missed profusely. 

Staring back, Bruce's mind started buzzing with exactly how he was going to do _this_... 

_"J, I know who you were, no. I know who you use to be, no. I know what happened to your family. I know why you were there that night at the chemical plant."_

Finally, it was J who broke the silence. Like always.

"So, am I to assume that your being here means you finally started missing me?"

Before giving Bruce time to reply J turned away from him and continued speaking.

"You know, Batss. I've been thinking..."

J flashed Bruce a fretful look before starting to pace back and forth.

"...about you and I. I've been contemplating the reasons why we never seem to be content. Why we seem to always become restless. Why we always inevitably mess things up... Just as they start getting good too." His voice pitching higher.

J stopped pacing momentarily, lifting his brows at Bruce, "And there's no denying that what we have, Batsy-baby, well, it's extraordinary."

"But there lies the problem." 

J suddenly snapped as if an idea had just came to him.

"You see, the very thing that makes us so great together, is also the very thing that makes us sooo great apart."

J turned and looked out over the city, "And they, the people, the city, the world...it all wants us to be at odds. It demands it. Requires it really."

Bruce listened carefully. 

"I wonder if this life will ever grant us..." J paused.

And for a long time saying nothing. Finally, turning once again to Bruce, he forced a smiled.

Turning back to look out over Gotham, "Will it ever grant us the freedom to be something more, or less...heh-he...than simply The Joker and The Batman."

Bruce's heart was rapidly beating, pounding against his chest listening to what J was saying. What it possible that they both were looking for a way out?

"Batss, what would it actually take? The stars aligning just so? Heh. Maybe planets colliding? What would have enough consequence that it could make us both halt and reconsider the course we're on? Make us stop being who we are?"

Bruce swallowed hard.

"But you know, Cupcake, even if it was conceivable that we'd ever get a chance to-"

"Jack. Jack Napier." Bruce called out Joker's name, causing him to abruptly stop mid-sentence.

It was as if the name echoed on the wind. Sending a chill down Bruce's whole body. And Jack made no movement, no sound, no response; his facial expression lost somewhere between grief, betrayal, shock and anger.

Bruce truly thought he was prepared for anything; having attempted to conceive every reaction he thought possible.

All of them except one: silence.


End file.
